I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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