i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
