Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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