the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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