i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
