my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
