What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
