unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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