I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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