I think I am morally bankrupt
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
