But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize