It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
