Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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