im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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