Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
