When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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