My first STD was from a foam party
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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