He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
