it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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