my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
