It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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