First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
