I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
