Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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