Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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