you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Then you guys just all showered together...?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
