Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
