Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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