Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
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she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
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That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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