i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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