At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
