Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
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I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You're like the curious george of whores
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
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I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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