Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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