you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
