you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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