I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
