Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
