I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
