Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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