I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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