that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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