they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
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Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
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Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary