So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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