Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs

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  (404): dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs http://tfl.nu/cgkd
  Replies (58) Good night (1105) Bad night (12341)
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  (769): View more from Mississippi

  My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth

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  (769): My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth http://tfl.nu/6ama
  Replies (33) Good night (3415) Bad night (2594)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."

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  (719): Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.." http://tfl.nu/gg20
  Replies (17) Good night (3353) Bad night (770)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  idk, I had a turtle in mine.

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  (941): can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat? (1-941): idk, I had a turtle in mine. http://tfl.nu/ag7m
  Replies (30) Good night (3842) Bad night (5577)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.

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  (440): omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave. http://tfl.nu/dpnt
  Replies (24) Good night (8565) Bad night (1761)
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  (518): View more from New York

  September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location

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  (518): September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location http://tfl.nu/jdkq
  Replies (16) Good night (9688) Bad night (1441)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".

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  (847): just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain". http://tfl.nu/ukpa
  Replies (26) Good night (14759) Bad night (1395)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.

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  (863): I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous. http://tfl.nu/l7hq
  Replies (7) Good night (2308) Bad night (1027)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Just drove past the dude that came in your sock

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  (315): Just drove past the dude that came in your sock http://tfl.nu/cm59
  Replies (3) Good night (803) Bad night (1621)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?

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  (402): Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window? http://tfl.nu/mwbz
  Replies (10) Good night (1671) Bad night (946)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!

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  (256): I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight! http://tfl.nu/qi7p
  Replies (3) Good night (1003) Bad night (848)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Kings cup with teenagers tonight

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Done deal

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  (303): Kings cup with teenagers tonight (1-303): Done deal http://tfl.nu/i22o
  Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (401)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore

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  (214): I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore http://tfl.nu/ea8h
  Replies (7) Good night (767) Bad night (458)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.

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  (317): he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh. (630): oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life. http://tfl.nu/3sw0
  Replies (0) Good night (630) Bad night (367)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account

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  (515): you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account http://tfl.nu/u05o
  Replies (0) Good night (368) Bad night (541)

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