Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?

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  (312): I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night? http://tfl.nu/ityh
  Replies (2) Good night (665) Bad night (1514)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Tell her she can't have a vagina

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  (517): Tell her she can't have a vagina http://tfl.nu/krch
  Replies (3) Good night (952) Bad night (727)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.

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  (321): We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story. http://tfl.nu/mc4k
  Replies (29) Good night (1237) Bad night (3650)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?

  (475): View more from Connecticut

  Yeah?

  (212): View more from New York

  Stuck it in his pooper.

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  (212): You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year? (475): Yeah? (212): Stuck it in his pooper. http://tfl.nu/y911
  Replies (209) Good night (10868) Bad night (4778)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.

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  (617): Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here. http://tfl.nu/6cd7
  Replies (4) Good night (3036) Bad night (992)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories

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  (706): Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories http://tfl.nu/hpss
  Replies (5) Good night (2062) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.

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  (514): She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead. http://tfl.nu/g7qd
  Replies (10) Good night (1153) Bad night (2607)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"

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  (305): Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now" http://tfl.nu/z261
  Replies (6) Good night (2273) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing

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  (617): Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing http://tfl.nu/5l2y
  Replies (5) Good night (1102) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  YES.

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  (513): People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join? (1-513): YES. http://tfl.nu/e51l
  Replies (3) Good night (1464) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"

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  (616): We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!" http://tfl.nu/th1o
  Replies (13) Good night (2047) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.

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  (519): He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat. http://tfl.nu/pqit
  Replies (10) Good night (1517) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.

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  (405): Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again. http://tfl.nu/vkin
  Replies (2) Good night (849) Bad night (545)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face

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  (917): I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face http://tfl.nu/busq
  Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY

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  (412): GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY http://tfl.nu/10da
  Replies (2) Good night (844) Bad night (411)

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