Grow some girl-balls and come out already
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
