That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.