just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
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Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home