ADVERTISEMENT

• (972): View more from Texas

  If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.

  Fav 62 1915 3213

  share tweet
  

• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.

  Fav 9 4430 829

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.

  Fav 18 1604 5275

  share tweet
  

• (316): View more from Kansas

  She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....

  Fav 15 1444 5445

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal

  Fav 13 7700 1885

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...

  Fav 8 3136 1147

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (337): View more from Louisiana

  so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.

  Fav 14 1052 2507

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'

  Fav 4 4067 995

  share tweet
  

• (909): View more from California

  Every concussion has its silver lining

  Fav 8 1196 975

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?

  Fav 3 533 825

  share tweet
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?

  Fav 5 944 519

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (443): View more from Maryland

  Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.

  Fav 6 385 664

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.

  Fav 0 23 58

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?

  Fav 2 57 23

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online

  Fav 2 48 15

  share tweet
  

Randomize