Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
