Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My liver just broke up with me...

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  (303): My liver just broke up with me... http://tfl.nu/2vsq
  Replies (2) Good night (1106) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"

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  (913): id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!" http://tfl.nu/e9j9
  Replies (5) Good night (2422) Bad night (580)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game

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  (937): she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game http://tfl.nu/2cbt
  Replies (20) Good night (816) Bad night (8409)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.

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  (850): He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person. http://tfl.nu/yofm
  Replies (13) Good night (794) Bad night (4319)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.

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  (+44): Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off. http://tfl.nu/7fq9
  Replies (12) Good night (6054) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.

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  (503): I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours. http://tfl.nu/1oq1
  Replies (3) Good night (1617) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.

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  (631): Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments. http://tfl.nu/sneo
  Replies (8) Good night (1973) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.

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  (714): You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus. http://tfl.nu/3jtv
  Replies (2) Good night (1609) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running

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  (775): What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running http://tfl.nu/dwtn
  Replies (7) Good night (527) Bad night (1392)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

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  (540): By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill. http://tfl.nu/ghyy
  Replies (0) Good night (725) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.

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  (250): I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night. http://tfl.nu/j1jk
  Replies (4) Good night (938) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.

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  (303): What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again. http://tfl.nu/ob8g
  Replies (1) Good night (766) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.

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  (317): Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position. http://tfl.nu/8zmk
  Replies (1) Good night (304) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson

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  (909): You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson http://tfl.nu/0990
  Replies (2) Good night (933) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.

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  (920): Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning. http://tfl.nu/b6qm
  Replies (1) Good night (383) Bad night (166)

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