Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

I faked an abortion last night.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.

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(613): View more from Ontario

so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..

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(732): View more from New Jersey

My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(586): View more from Michigan

The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am

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(248): View more from Michigan

Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.

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(410): View more from Maryland

was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long

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(519): View more from Ontario

Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans

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(770): View more from Georgia

Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich

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