I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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