it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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