Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
