Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
