When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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