the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Damn victory sex feels great
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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