You can't special order awesome
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
