Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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