somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
