windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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