mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
