Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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