Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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