My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
