dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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