apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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