so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
