you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
