so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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