I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
