Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
